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It is always amazing how people always do things based on the expectations of others and not on those of their own. We do things or don’t do them because we are worried about what others will think or how they will react. We worry a lot about how others will perceive us, but don’t give a shred about how we perceive ourselves.

This becomes even worse when it comes to women and teenagers. We always tend to put other people first. We change our character, to be something we are not, just because we want to blend in or become cool. We get married or have children because the society expects us to do so. You are not seen as a real or full woman if you are not married or if you don’t have kids. And the sick part? Teenage pregnancy and illiteracy are more acceptable than homosexuality. I mean the first two are problems which are crippling our society.

When we marry that person, that wife or husband, when we buy that car, that house or when we clinch that deal, we do it so we can impress others or prove a point to them. We do it so we can be ‘seen’, and usually the people we want to impress, the ones we are trying to attract, are the people we don’t really like. I doubt that we dress for our families, we don’t put on those fancy clothes, the ones we hardly ever wear, so we can sit down for that every day dinner with our families.

We might do it for our friends, but remember friends come and go while family stays for our lifetime, hence we choose our friends but not our families.

The sad part however, is that the people we are trying to impress don’t have any significant effect on our lives, they don’t matter. The people who matter in our lives are those special to us. I’m talking here about our kids, our parents, and our brothers and sisters. In some cases, these special people will also include our grandparents, our aunts and uncles and our cousins. These people love us unconditionally; they love us regardless, regardless of what we wear, what we drive or the shelters we live in.

Our loved ones appreciate us for who we are. These are the people who love us regardless of who we marry or date. They don’t care if we are gay or straight, they love us still. Material wealth or possession doesn’t have a place in these kind of relationships because no amount of money or material possession will ever give you that very same kind of a person, be it a mom, a child or a sibling. Even when they seem to be pushing us, they are pushing us to be the best we can be, after all that’s what tough love is all about.

However, no matter how much they push us, or encourage us, nothing is going to happen if we don’t play our part. Even if they look out for us, it won’t be enough if we don’t look out for ourselves. Trust me, no one will ever look out for you more than yourself. We have to put ourselves first in any decision we make or any action we take.

Let us remember that whatever action we take will always have an impact on us, nobody else but us. When we choose to work hard, the rewards and the reaction to that are going to be in our favour. Every positive action will yield positive results just as much as a negative action will yield even worse negative results.

So whatever we choose to do, whether good or bad, we have to do it for ourselves first because the results or the outcome will have an effect on us first.